Just a quick random thought:
You know what my favorite part of travel day is? (The day I travel to a work assignment)
The total lack of motivation to get on the road!
Sure my bags are 99.9% packed and the apple devices are syncing and yes I should be in the shower.
But instead Im glued to my computer playing with the apple devices and facebook!
OK Random moment over!
BTW HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Unconnected
So at this point i don't know if this will make its way to my blog or just as a journal entry in my personal journal but here goes!
What do you do when you just no longer feel connected? Its been a rough year for me emotionally and physically and they're tied in together. This year has been rough on Paul and I due to my job. Im going to leave out the long drawn out details on this as I don't want a single part of it to be misconstrued.
Things were rough for me at my job this year as I learned to see the other side of people. My job was indirectly threatened this year, I was threatened to be sent through my companies correctional program a few times, one of my closest friends lost their job, I saw favoritism take place as my views and opinions were overlooked and ignored, and even though it is untrue I was told that my team didn't like me.
This constant bombardment on my emotional state has affected me in other ways. I lost the umpf I had when I started my diet journey and out of the 170 pounds I have lost about 60 have returned. I know what I need to do to get back on track but it just seems I lack the dedication and/or motivation to make it happen. I've made plans for what I'm going to do to get back on track. I picked up a new diet journal and set a start date for me with the diet, which may now be modified with being sent back on the road for an assignment, and plan on getting back in the gym. I just need to make it happen.
I even seem to have lost interest in the holidays that once excited me. I didn't put out one single Halloween decoration this year and Im not sure what I think about Christmas just yet. I totally stopped doing my youtube videos and even go through periods where I just don't want to do a single thing with my blog.
And the one thing affecting me that has totally taken me by surprise is all the LGBT youth that have taken their lives due to gay bullying. Can you imagine taking your own life because you are told time and time again that you are wrong for existing!?!?!?! Its so sad! But at the same time it saddens me on another level because it makes me think more how a growing portion of this world doesn't want me in it simply because I am honest with myself. Now don't worry I have no intention of bringing any self inflicted harm to myself. Its just something suddenly Im having issues with. Imagine daily seeing stories saying that someone was beat up because they have blue eyes or the love between brunets is not valid and undeserving of marrying rights or blonds have no right trying to adopt a child or be a parent.
There was a story recently about a Arkansas school board member who posted numerous hateful statements on his facebook account after Spirit day. Spirit day for those of you that don't know was October 21st and was a day where people were encouraged to wear purple in honor of the numerous LGBT youth who had taken their lives and to raise awareness of the bullying behaviors that contributed to their taking of their own lives. But I digress. This school board member stated that the only way he would wear purple is if all queers committed suicide. He then proceeded to state how he enjoyed that most give each other aids and die. I think it was eventually a senior that reported him. Eventually he apologized for his statements and resigned from his position, which I think is funny because word of that came just hours after Anderson Cooper supposedly ripped him a new one. But still, can you imagine living a life where you are constantly faced with people like this who would be happy with your death simply because you exist?!
But back to my original statement! Just what do you do when you feel your level of connection with things just isn't there any more?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
What do you do when you just no longer feel connected? Its been a rough year for me emotionally and physically and they're tied in together. This year has been rough on Paul and I due to my job. Im going to leave out the long drawn out details on this as I don't want a single part of it to be misconstrued.
Things were rough for me at my job this year as I learned to see the other side of people. My job was indirectly threatened this year, I was threatened to be sent through my companies correctional program a few times, one of my closest friends lost their job, I saw favoritism take place as my views and opinions were overlooked and ignored, and even though it is untrue I was told that my team didn't like me.
This constant bombardment on my emotional state has affected me in other ways. I lost the umpf I had when I started my diet journey and out of the 170 pounds I have lost about 60 have returned. I know what I need to do to get back on track but it just seems I lack the dedication and/or motivation to make it happen. I've made plans for what I'm going to do to get back on track. I picked up a new diet journal and set a start date for me with the diet, which may now be modified with being sent back on the road for an assignment, and plan on getting back in the gym. I just need to make it happen.
I even seem to have lost interest in the holidays that once excited me. I didn't put out one single Halloween decoration this year and Im not sure what I think about Christmas just yet. I totally stopped doing my youtube videos and even go through periods where I just don't want to do a single thing with my blog.
And the one thing affecting me that has totally taken me by surprise is all the LGBT youth that have taken their lives due to gay bullying. Can you imagine taking your own life because you are told time and time again that you are wrong for existing!?!?!?! Its so sad! But at the same time it saddens me on another level because it makes me think more how a growing portion of this world doesn't want me in it simply because I am honest with myself. Now don't worry I have no intention of bringing any self inflicted harm to myself. Its just something suddenly Im having issues with. Imagine daily seeing stories saying that someone was beat up because they have blue eyes or the love between brunets is not valid and undeserving of marrying rights or blonds have no right trying to adopt a child or be a parent.
There was a story recently about a Arkansas school board member who posted numerous hateful statements on his facebook account after Spirit day. Spirit day for those of you that don't know was October 21st and was a day where people were encouraged to wear purple in honor of the numerous LGBT youth who had taken their lives and to raise awareness of the bullying behaviors that contributed to their taking of their own lives. But I digress. This school board member stated that the only way he would wear purple is if all queers committed suicide. He then proceeded to state how he enjoyed that most give each other aids and die. I think it was eventually a senior that reported him. Eventually he apologized for his statements and resigned from his position, which I think is funny because word of that came just hours after Anderson Cooper supposedly ripped him a new one. But still, can you imagine living a life where you are constantly faced with people like this who would be happy with your death simply because you exist?!
But back to my original statement! Just what do you do when you feel your level of connection with things just isn't there any more?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
While on vacation (Tuesday October 26th)
Had a rather productive day today, for a lazy day that is. Spent the morning relaxing, as I should, watching TV and playing Metroid: Other M. Its a great game and I've gotten quite far in it. Unfortunately Ill have to start from scratch when I get back home with the game.
After getting together for the day we headed out with mom. I had one goal for the day which was to locate the keyboard dock and maybe a new case for my iPad. We started out at the Starbucks my sister manages for a drink and then made our way to BJ's. I found new set of window candles that are LED and have a timer so they will turn on and off each night at the same time and run on batteries. I also found a great deal on pumpkin spice coffee for our Keurig machine, 80 pumpkin spice cups for $30.00 when you usually can only get 12 for about $10.00.
From there we made our way to Target where I struck gold and found the keyboard dock I had been looking for and also picked up a different cover for my iPad. The dock allows me to essentially turn the iPad into a laptop. I wanted it for when I do longer typing projects like typing this blog, my personal journal, long emails etc. etc.
After returning to my parents house Paul and I went out to meet our friends Michelle and Eric for dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings. Mom let me take her 40th anniversary mustang out for this night which was nice. It was great catching up with two of our closest friends and getting to meet their kids, which made me realize just how old we are becoming.
After dinner we headed back to Michelle and Eric's house to hang out for a while. Their all too adorable daughter gave us a tour of the house and hosted a tea party for us where we were served vegetable tea, vegetable pastries, and raspberry fluff frosting. Her less then 1 year old brother was copying everything she was doing which was fun to watch. Michelle worked all night on convincing Paul that we need to move back to MD. Lord I would love to say goodbye to NC and move to MD again but unfortunately I fear that there is too much wed have to do to make it happen. Either that or Id have to move back single, which I don't really want to do. Either way Michelle promised to keep working on convincing Paul that MD is where we belong. I was actually surprised to hear Paul say on the drive ohm that it would be nice to move back to MD so keep it up Michelle!!!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
After getting together for the day we headed out with mom. I had one goal for the day which was to locate the keyboard dock and maybe a new case for my iPad. We started out at the Starbucks my sister manages for a drink and then made our way to BJ's. I found new set of window candles that are LED and have a timer so they will turn on and off each night at the same time and run on batteries. I also found a great deal on pumpkin spice coffee for our Keurig machine, 80 pumpkin spice cups for $30.00 when you usually can only get 12 for about $10.00.
From there we made our way to Target where I struck gold and found the keyboard dock I had been looking for and also picked up a different cover for my iPad. The dock allows me to essentially turn the iPad into a laptop. I wanted it for when I do longer typing projects like typing this blog, my personal journal, long emails etc. etc.
After returning to my parents house Paul and I went out to meet our friends Michelle and Eric for dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings. Mom let me take her 40th anniversary mustang out for this night which was nice. It was great catching up with two of our closest friends and getting to meet their kids, which made me realize just how old we are becoming.
After dinner we headed back to Michelle and Eric's house to hang out for a while. Their all too adorable daughter gave us a tour of the house and hosted a tea party for us where we were served vegetable tea, vegetable pastries, and raspberry fluff frosting. Her less then 1 year old brother was copying everything she was doing which was fun to watch. Michelle worked all night on convincing Paul that we need to move back to MD. Lord I would love to say goodbye to NC and move to MD again but unfortunately I fear that there is too much wed have to do to make it happen. Either that or Id have to move back single, which I don't really want to do. Either way Michelle promised to keep working on convincing Paul that MD is where we belong. I was actually surprised to hear Paul say on the drive ohm that it would be nice to move back to MD so keep it up Michelle!!!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
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